A woman posted on Reddit about her experiences since starting a new job this month as the only woman on a team of men in a physically demanding role. While she was welcomed warmly and told the workplace was progressive, subtle incidents made her feel isolated and hyper aware of her gender.
Uncomfortable Behavior and Self Doubt
She said one coworker “kept finding reasons to touch and put his arms around me” and others would resist her attempts to carry equipment. “People keep looking at me like a lost puppy on the worksites and I feel like I’m shrinking” she wrote. “Some of the guys share deeply personal trauma with me and I’m wondering if they would do the same if I were a man.”
She’s driving herself crazy wondering if she’s over analyzing things and if she’s the problem. “I didn’t think I’d be so aware of my gender like this and I’ve never psyched myself out about it before” she said, asking for advice on how to stay focused on her work.
Reddit Users Offer Support and Solutions
The post got a lot of comments, many of which offered advice. One user said “Report the more severe stuff to HR. The physical touch and trauma dumping is not appropriate and no I don’t think you’re overreacting.”
Another shared their own experience in a similar environment. “Hey, I know what you’re talking about. I’ve been in a similar environment for 3 years. It can be really hard. I try to set clear boundaries, avoid people who sexualize me or are emotionally troublesome or have bad boundaries. Easier said than done.
But I’m a little rowdy now and I will clap back. It can make the situations more complicated if you upset some important man’s fragile ego.. But usually there is some respect given to those who bare their teeth a little bit and stand up for themselves. It’s some silly socialized behavior that men practice instead of just giving respect as a bare minimum.
Sometimes the good men I meet in the trades can’t see what makes a bad man bad. But I’ve had great people (men) go to bat for me. There is rarely true empathy, other than from other females. I’d suggest finding community with other tradeswomen, talk about these experiences. It helps me lighten my mental burden.”