A Reddit post is going massively viral on social media after a user shared that, despite HR confirming that taking leave for one’s own marriage is allowed, their manager refused to approve it. The user vented their frustration on Reddit and sought advice on what to do next — and the internet had plenty to say.
The post was titled, “Manager not approving my marriage leaves even after HR confirmed it’s allowed — what should I do?” The user wrote, “I’m getting married at the end of November and had informed my manager and team well in advance that I’ll be taking some time off in December for my marriage and honeymoon. I’ve already prepared all my backups and made sure my work is covered. Now when I finally asked for the leaves, my manager said he can’t give me more than 3 days for marriage because that’s what the policy says. I need to take 11 working days off and I have 28 days of leave balance saved up just for this.”
They continued, “He’s now saying he will only allow 3 marriage days and 5 vacation days because it’s against the policy. When I checked with HR, they clearly said I can take 11 days in a row if I have the leave balance and my manager approves. These leaves are non-negotiable for me. It’s my wedding. I even said I’m okay to take unpaid leaves if needed but he said he doesn’t know about the policy. At this point, I’m planning to apply for the leaves anyway and inform him that I won’t be available during those days. I’ve communicated everything in advance, HR confirmed it’s fine, and I don’t see why I should suffer because of one person’s ego.”
The post concluded with frustration, “It’s honestly ridiculous. What do these managers even want? Are we supposed to stop living our lives because they couldn’t live theirs properly?” The user then asked the Reddit community for advice on how to handle the situation.
Several Reddit users recounted similar experiences and offered advice on how to handle conflicts over wedding leave. One user suggested, “Be strong and write an email to HR stating that these leaves are non-negotiable. As we already discussed, I’m looking for your approval. Involve higher-level managers if needed. Don’t fight it like an employee-manager issue — handle it professionally. A wedding isn’t something you do every year.”
Another shared, “Happened with me during my brother’s wedding. The manager said I could take only 3 days of leave and should be back on Day 4. I took 7 days anyway and called him on the 4th morning to inform him I wouldn’t be able to come. He said this would affect my appraisal rating and that he’d need to check with the client and delivery head. I would’ve gotten 6% if I came back, and I got 4% — it didn’t even matter. Stay strong and inform HR and your manager that it’s not possible for you to come. You can’t control what your manager does anyway. Go ahead and enjoy your wedding and honeymoon.”
Many others chimed in with supportive messages and shared stories of standing up for themselves in similar situations.