For too long, the narrative in corporate America has celebrated resilience—the grit and stamina required to bounce back from the next crisis, the next layoff, or the next 60-hour work week. As an executive coach and corporate trainer, I’ve heard countless stories of high-achievers pushing past burnout, defining success by wealth, status, and power, and ending up, as Jon Rosemberg, author of the new book A Guide to Thriving recently shared with me, deep in survival mode.
But what if resilience is the low bar? What if the true secret to a thriving career, a positive workplace culture, and successful talent retention lies in moving beyond simply surviving to actually thriving?
Rosemberg argues that this shift starts with agency. This isn’t just about having a choice; it’s about the capacity to make intentional choices, supported by the belief that those decisions matter and have an impact. When employees feel this sense of agency, it radically transforms the work environment and their motivation to stay.
The Cost of the “Survival Mode” Workplace
Many organizations inadvertently foster a survival mode workplace culture. This is an environment defined by:
- Reactivity and Hyper-Focus: The body is constantly in a state of “911 emergency,” making it hard for employees to connect with others or tap into their creativity.
- Demands Outweighing Resources: When the pressure of demands significantly exceeds the resources available—including things like rest, social connection, and time for mental health—employees slide into burnout.
- The Resilience Trap: Leaders ask employees to be “resilient” without addressing the systemic issues creating the stress in the first place. This simply asks people to recover quickly so they can be ready for the next trauma, without ever truly building a sustainable foundation for well-being.
The inevitable result of this environment is a decline in talent retention. People don’t stay where they feel their value is measured only by their output, or where they must constantly sacrifice their personal lives for their work. They leave because they are tired of merely getting by.
Three Pathways to a Thriving Workplace Culture
The good news is that leaders have the power to flip this equation and build a workplace culture that fuels talent retention by encouraging agency and thriving. This isn’t about one-off programs, but about disciplined, small, incremental changes.
1. Shift from Resilience to True Resourcefulness
Instead of demanding more resilience, leaders must focus on increasing resources and establishing boundaries.
- Reduce Demands, Increase Resources: This means intentionally setting realistic expectations, designing work to allow for mental and physical breaks, and making space for the “typical things” like physical activity and rest.
- Normalize Resource Practices: Encourage—and carve out time for—daily practices like walking meditations or yoga, acknowledging that what works best is different for everyone. When leaders model and protect this time, it sends a powerful signal that employee health is a true organizational priority.
2. Empower Agency Through Cognitive Flexibility
Rosemberg notes that our internal beliefs are the core of our identity and the lens through which we navigate the world. When employees operate with limiting beliefs—such as “My value depends on my productivity”—they get stuck.
To reclaim agency, he offers the AIR Method (Awareness, Inquiry, Reframing):
- Awareness: Create distance from the issue or belief. As Rosemberg describes, if a problem is too close to your eye, you can only see one small piece; awareness helps you step back and see the whole picture.
- Inquiry: Once you have distance, you can start to explore the situation with curiosity, asking, “How does this work? What does that look like?”This replaces a defensive, emotional reaction with a learning mindset.
- Reframing: Find a combination that works for you in the moment. This means replacing the old, limiting belief with a new, empowering one, thereby expanding your sense of self and adaptability.
Leaders can apply AIR by coaching employees to identify their limiting beliefs, offering context during stressful situations, and encouraging curiosity over fear.
3. Build Your Culture on Social Connection
The single greatest predictor of happiness and one of the most powerful internal resources is social connection. A thriving workplace culture must recognize that the most powerful form of thriving is helping other people thrive.
- Meaningful Relationships: Create an environment where connection is valued and meaningful relationships can form. This kind of supportive atmosphere is a powerful antidote to burnout.
- Regenerative Allyship: When we help others succeed—what I call allyship—we get regenerative energy in return. This isn’t an act of self-sacrifice; it’s an acknowledgment that as a social species, we are wired to be helpful to one another, and collective success is the only way to sustain long-term individual success.
Ultimately, the choice for a thriving organization is simple: We can keep pushing for resilience and watch our best talent walk away, or we can make the intentional choice to build a workplace culture where every employee feels empowered to reclaim their agency. By focusing on small, incremental practices that nurture the whole person, leaders can move their teams from merely surviving to genuinely thriving, securing both their talent retention and their legacy.
My challenge to every leader: Identify one demand you can permanently reduce for your team this week, and one resource you can intentionally protect for them today.