A Reddit member writes:
I am an IT software and data engineering team leader. I have eight managers reporting to me and more than 60 people on my team. In recent org changes I moved under another senior leader. Since the day I moved under him, his whole agenda is to blast and blame me for no reason. And almost every week he reminds me that if I don’t do something he asks, I can get fired.
Many times we don’t see eye to eye on strategy and implementation techniques. No appreciation for any work my team is doing. I initially thought this would get better once he realized how much value my team brings. But it has been a year and nothing has changed.
During the yearly review, he did not give me any proper feedback, nor any raise or bonus. He told me I need to keep improving. I’ve been on the promotion list the last three years, but unfortunately due to competition I was not picked. And this year he gave me below-expectations feedback.
I talked to HR but HR told me that once I open a case, they can’t keep my identity secret and that will impact me even more. I even went and talked to his boss but other than promises, nothing happened. I am looking outside, but the market is tight and it’s very hard to get a single interview for a leadership role. I am not sure what my options are. I can’t leave the job since I need the income. What else can I do in this situation?
Minda Zetlin responds:
I’m so sorry you’re stuck in this unpleasant situation. As several people have noted in the comments to your post, trying to fight your boss by going over his head, or appealing to HR, is unlikely to yield the results you want. Companies are hierarchical, and for whatever reason, yours has placed him above you in the hierarchy. That means that, whatever they may tell you, they are likely to take his word over yours and his priorities over yours and your team’s.
Your path to success lies through your boss, not around him. This may be true even if you find another position, because ideally you’ll want him to recommend you for it. As you have seen, it may be difficult to move to a new position within your company if he persists in giving you negative reviews.
It’s time for ‘managing up’
Your best approach is “managing up.” Figure out what you need to do to make your boss happy. The facts you share lead me to suspect that your boss views you as a threat, which may explain why he seems to be trying so hard to undermine you. You mentioned that he became your boss after some organizational changes. Were you and he on equal footing before before he was promoted above you? If so, he might easily be feeling insecure.
If I’m right about this, your best strategy now is to convince him that you aren’t a threat after all. In fact, you’re a potential asset because you and your team can make him look good to his higher-ups. As others have suggested, consider asking for a one-on-one conversation. Ask him which initiatives and metrics are most important to him, and try to particularly shine in those areas. If you don’t see eye-to-eye on something, make your case once, and then respectfully abide by whatever he decides. And you’ve gotten good advice to document every win and every bit of praise or thanks. Those records will be useful in case of another negative review, or in case an opportunity for a move to another area comes up.
If he takes credit for your team’s accomplishments, that’s a good thing! It means he is acknowledging those accomplishments. That will make it much harder for him to claim that you and your team are performing below expectations. Speaking of your team, it sounds like they are doing great work for you. It also sounds like they’re in danger of becoming collateral damage in your conflict with you boss. As a good leader yourself, you should make sure this doesn’t happen.
Try to manage your own emotions
I realize that none of what I’m suggesting will be easy. The anger and frustration you’re feeling are palpable in your question. To succeed in this difficult challenge, you will need to master your emotions in the workplace and make sure that they don’t master you. It may help to find someone outside your workplace whom you can talk to about all this, and vent some of these feelings.
As ambitious people, we all get emotionally caught up in our jobs. It’s hard to stay calm when facing unfair treatment. Ultimately, your job is just your job, and in my experience, workplace situations tend to change quickly, so you may not find yourself in this situation for long. Getting your boss to be on your side instead of working against you may be the best way to handle it while you are.