After more than two decades leading in corporate America and years coaching women across industries, I’ve noticed a surprising pattern among high achievers. The leaders who grow exponentially are not the ones who accumulate more strategies, responsibilities or tools. They are the ones who learn to let go of the habits, identities and expectations that quietly limit their ability to evolve.
This is counterintuitive for many women. We were raised to believe that progression comes from effort, discipline and a level of resilience that borders on over-functioning.
And for a long time, that formula works. It helps us build careers, deliver results and earn trust. But at a certain point in a woman’s professional evolution, the very identity that once fueled her success becomes the barrier to her next stage of impact.
The Identity Plateau No One Talks About
When women come to my leadership programs or retreats, the challenges sound different on the surface but share a common root. They say things like:
• “I’m successful, but I feel disconnected from the work.”
• “I’m ready for more, but I can’t see the path clearly.”
• “I’m exhausted from maintaining a version of myself that no longer fits.”
What they are describing is not a performance gap, but an identity plateau.
Years ago, I read a book called Ligero de Equipaje (meaning “light on luggage”) by Carlos G. Valles S.J., which, unfortunately, I haven’t found translated into English. I was young at the time, fascinated by books that explored mindset, but I didn’t fully grasp the weight of his message. Valles wrote about the unnecessary burdens we carry: expectations, roles, patterns and emotional luggage that quietly shape the way we move through life.
Back then, it felt philosophical. Today, working with women leaders who are navigating reinvention, I see how practical and relevant that lesson truly is. Letting go is not just a spiritual idea but a strategic leadership skill.
Research on transformational growth reinforces this. Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy describe in their book 10X Is Easier Than 2X that exponential growth cannot be achieved by pushing harder at current capacities. It requires reexamining the identity behind the behaviors. According to them, leaders cannot step into a 10x future while remaining anchored to a 2x version of themselves.
This identity friction often shows up among experienced, high-performing women: those who built their careers on reliability, excellence and adaptability. These strengths can unintentionally solidify into rigid expectations that limit reinvention.
Why The Brain Resists Change, Even When We Want It
If a leader continues to think, feel and behave in the same patterns, the brain will typically recreate familiar outcomes. Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work highlights that without an interruption of habitual emotional states and thought loops, the brain defaults to the past—even when the individual is consciously seeking change. In his book Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, another book I have found transformational, he explains how you need to let go of who you are to become who you want to be. This means that professional stagnation is rarely about competence but about neurological conditioning.
High-achieving women often stay in roles, behaviors or mindsets long after they’ve outgrown them, simply because the brain is wired toward predictability, not possibility.
The opportunity lies in intentionally interrupting that autopilot.
3 Shifts That Help Women Break Through Their Leadership Ceiling
Based on my work with organizations and women leaders across the U.S., Europe and Latin America, these are the three most impactful shifts that help those in senior roles elevate their leadership and influence:
1. Redefine success using internal drivers, not inherited expectations.
Many women reach senior positions still operating on definitions of success formed early in their careers or influenced by cultural norms. Take time to map what success means now, in this season of your life and leadership.
Questions to consider:
• What energizes me at this stage?
• What responsibilities no longer align with who I am becoming?
• Where am I acting out of obligation rather than intention?
Clarity allows for courageous, aligned decisions.
2. Identify the beliefs that no longer support your next level.
Every leader operates from internal narratives like: I need to prove myself, I must be available or I should handle everything. These beliefs may have helped you advance, but they may also limit your strategic visibility or influence today.
The key is recognizing which beliefs served you earlier in your career that are ready to be released. To begin this process, pay attention to emotional reactions that seem disproportionate. When something triggers self-doubt or the urge to overperform, pause and ask: What am I making this mean about me?
Next, listen to your internal language. Thoughts like “I can’t slow down” or “If I don’t do it, it won’t be done right” often reflect outdated assumptions rather than current reality. Resistance to delegating, setting boundaries or stepping into greater visibility often points to a belief that once protected you but no longer serves who you are becoming.
3. Practice behavioral alignment, not behavioral intensity.
Sustainable transformation doesn’t come from doing more but from choosing behaviors that align with who you want to become. This might mean saying no, delegating more intentionally or taking time to think strategically, rather than reacting operationally.
Behavioral alignment rewires the brain for a new future. Small, consistent steps have a significant cumulative effect on identity and leadership presence.
Why This Work Matters For Organizations
When women step into identities that reflect their current strengths, values and ambitions, the impact is immediate: They make decisions with greater clarity, communicate with stronger conviction, lead with steadiness rather than pressure and model healthier cultures and boundaries.
Organizations benefit from leaders who operate from intentional identity rather than inherited expectations. It improves performance, team engagement and long-term retention.
A Question Every Woman Should Ask Herself
Letting go can sound abstract, but in business, it is practical. Leaders cannot expand while carrying identities designed for earlier seasons of their careers.
I encourage women to reflect on the following question: What part of your leadership identity has served its purpose and is ready to be released so you can grow into the leader you are becoming?
This is not about discarding your past but about choosing your future with intention.