Your day begins at 6 a.m., so you can get to the office by 8 a.m. (because your boss mandated a return to the office five days a week). You just make it to your 8 a.m. meeting, not having time to get a much-needed cup of coffee, and then sit in four more meetings in a row. By the time you get to your desk, you have a list of work to-dos you were already behind on and also all the work that came out of your five morning meetings.
In your one-on-one with your boss later in the day (meeting six), he tells you that your expression “looked sour” in an earlier meeting and that you might want to pay attention to what your face is doing in meetings so people don’t get “the wrong idea” about your attitude. When you finally fall into bed later that evening, you can’t sleep, and you wonder how you can get up and do it all again tomorrow.
Is this the corporate version of Alexander’s “Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day“? It’s unfortunately the reality for many of us juggling the nine-to-five and…well, life. That day? It’s not made up. My coaching clients frequently have days like this, and then wonder what they need to do to feel better.
When the problem is a toxic workplace, the problem isn’t you. And yet we’re told again and again that the problem is us, not the work culture. We should get up earlier. We should do yoga, which helps with stress! We need to be more resilient.
The stress and overwork that come from being in a toxic workplace are not your fault. And there are some things you can do about it, because you don’t have to keep living like this.
Here are five ways to manage a toxic workplace:
1. Acknowledge that there’s a problem.
It’s easy to think you’re the problem, because as humans, we’re inclined to do that. But when you actually write down all of the expectations there are on you—from yourself, from your workplace, from your family—there’s no way one single person could accomplish all of those things, not to mention accomplish them well. Once you can be honest with yourself that it’s not all going to happen, you open your eyes to alternatives.
2. Set boundaries.
Yes, I’m sure you knew this. But are you doing it? Fifty-eight percent of us report having a hard time saying no, according to a 2022 survey by Thriving Center for Psychology. Author, therapist and boundaries expert Nedra Tawwab says: “You have to figure out how to balance the energy of wanting to be liked and wanting to be a good worker.” I like to tell my clients to imagine they have a battery icon, like the ones on their phone. When you’re in the red zone, or even yellow, ask yourself what might have contributed to it. When you track that for a week or two, you’ll know where you might need to start with boundary setting.
3. Call in some help.
Hiring a coach can be an incredible way to help yourself manage a toxic workplace. Coaches can help you see the problems in new ways and come up with solutions to help you reclaim your time and well-being. Therapists can help you work through why this workplace feels particularly toxic to you, and how it might be related to deeper feelings that they can help you manage.
4. Make incremental changes.
Instead of trying to change everything at once, use small steps. Neuropsychotherapist and author Britt Frank talks about how “micro-yeses,” tiny incremental steps toward change, create options for your brain, which “cues your brain to move from panic mode to logic mode” in the face of change.
Let’s say you realize that being online after work hours is one of the things that’s really draining your battery. Before you go full out and proclaim, “I will no longer open my computer after work!” start with something like “I will not work after hours tomorrow” or even “I will not work from 5 to 6 p.m. tomorrow.” See how that goes, and then add on from there. You’re much more likely to develop a permanent change when you take it slow.
5. Make a ‘go plan.’
Sometimes, your workplace isn’t going to get less toxic, and no amount of boundaries will make it easier to survive. I find that some clients feel a lot better after they make a go plan, or a plan for how they are going to leave their job thoughtfully and strategically. Instead of getting lost in the despair of being in a toxic workplace, a go plan activates you to take small steps toward the goal of leaving, and knowing that you’re working on an exit behind the scenes can vastly improve your remaining time at work. It’s like a little secret only you know about, and it’s empowering to know you’re actively working on the exit.
Toxic workplaces, unfortunately, aren’t going away any time soon. But that doesn’t mean you have to put up with them. Use these five tips to protect your time and personal space, and you’ll feel a lot better.
Source – https://www.forbes.com/councils/forbescoachescouncil/2025/10/15/5-ways-to-manage-a-toxic-workplace/