An employee opened up about how a difficult internship experience left a lasting impact on their confidence, admitting that even years later, they still feel anxious whenever they learn they will be reporting to a female manager.
The post, shared on Reddit’s r/IndianWorkplace forum, was titled, “My first female manager completely changed how I look at corporate life, and I hate that she still scares me.”
In the detailed post, the employee recalled entering the corporate world as a 22-year-old intern, excited to learn and gain experience. Before starting their internship, they said they had always dismissed claims that female managers were particularly difficult to work with, believing such opinions were rooted in stereotypes.
However, their first workplace experience left a very different impression.
According to the employee, their manager was never openly rude or aggressive. She was polite, smiled during interactions, and appeared approachable from the outside. Yet, they said working under her often felt like navigating expectations that were never clearly communicated.
One incident that stayed with them involved the team’s work-tracking whiteboard, where urgent tasks were marked in red and less pressing work in black. The employee said they noticed that, despite being an intern, they often had more red-marked assignments than several full-time employees. The work was frequently labelled urgent, but without clear explanations about ownership, deadlines or priorities.
Rather than feeling supported during a learning phase of their career, they said they constantly felt as though they were failing an “invisible test.”
The experience culminated on their final day, which they described as surprisingly cold. They wrote that there was no farewell message, no feedback, and not even a simple wish for future success. While the internship itself had been challenging, they said that final interaction stayed with them the most.
Reflecting on the experience more than a year later, the employee admitted that the four-month internship gradually chipped away at their self-confidence. They said they still occasionally second-guess their work or worry they are underperforming, tracing many of those feelings back to that period.
The employee contrasted the experience with their current workplace, where they described their manager as collaborative, supportive and free from the kind of hierarchy-driven behaviour that had troubled them earlier. Working in a healthier environment, they said, helped them realise that not all managers operate the same way.
While acknowledging that they do not believe all female managers behave similarly, the employee admitted that the internship left behind an emotional association that still triggers anxiety whenever they hear they will be reporting to a woman manager.
The post sparked a broader discussion about workplace leadership, confidence and the lasting effect managers can have on employees early in their careers.
Some commenters argued that learning not to internalise every manager’s behaviour is an important part of surviving corporate life, saying they had learned over time to develop a thicker skin and separate their self-worth from workplace dynamics.
Others shared experiences that completely contradicted the original poster’s story. Several users said the best managers they had ever worked under were women, describing them as supportive, empathetic and free of unnecessary ego, suggesting that management style depended far more on the individual than on gender.
A number of commenters also challenged the employee’s framing of the experience, pointing out that people rarely generalised an entire gender based on a negative interaction with one male manager.
They argued that a bad manager was simply a bad manager, and turning a single unpleasant experience into a broader stereotype could be unfair.
As the discussion continued, many users agreed on one point: a manager’s behaviour during a person’s first job or internship could leave a far bigger impression than most people realisde, often shaping confidence, expectations and workplace attitudes long after the role itself had ended.